I've been thinking about my grandma a lot lately.
I think there are a few reasons for this.
First, my family and I have recently moved to a house farther into the hills and woods, and once you live a good distance away from the nearest town you must learn to plan better and be more resourceful, intuitive and self-reliant. My grandma seems to embody all these qualities, having lived on our family farm in rural Kansas all her life, and I find myself thinking more and more these days something like, "Oh, that's why she always does that." And it makes me feel good to think that finally I'm beginning to get it.

I believe that along with the wisdom that comes with age, there's also a certain bit of nobility. And since we're both women and sisters and mothers, I hold dearly onto all her little sayings and bits of advice. "You never use soap on a skillet, that's just a waste of good grease," and "it might not help get the job done, but grunting always makes it feel easier."

Second, my daughter's birthday is coming up and when I recently talked to her on the phone, she asked if it was alright for her to send Mazzy another doll for her birthday. Let me back this up by saying that my grandma was the youngest of eleven children in her family, and they struggled like everybody during the Depression. She's told me quite a few times about how she only had one doll growing up and it was handmade to begin with and you can imagine how ratty the poor thing must have been. So now she gives my girls dolls every chance she gets and says "I just don't think a girl can have too many dolls." I just can't argue with that.

Third, it's Mother's Day, which is always bittersweet for me because my own mother is gone. But every time I feel that aching sadness of a motherless child, it's followed closely by a deep admiration of my grandmother's strength, as a daughterless mother. I cannot, and hope I never have to wrap my mind around that.

Finally, as I get older myself and see my own legacy take shape, my respect for her grows and I feel a closer connection to her on that cord that ties me to her through my mom and connects my children to generations of women that even I never knew.

She's a simple woman, my grandma, with simple goals. She loves nothing more than to have a house full of guests and family and feed them all and hold babies and take care of my grandpa. And she's spent her whole life doing what she loves. Mothering. Nurturing, nourishing and loving. I don't think anyone can aspire to do anything greater than that.

Lovely as the month of May

Maybe like a lot of people, we tend to stay pretty close to home. Occasionally a specific need drives us out of our little Valley, but never for long.

The sights and sounds that surround us are anything but boring, and it's only because we see them every day that we take them for granted. Vineyards, wild mustard, wine cellars and famous restaurants, blah, blah, blah.

But in Springtime, and specifically in May, the natural beauty here just demands our attention and gratitude.

There are, after all, lots of places where little scenes like these don't just happen on the side of the road. It's no wonder we never leave.

I'm sure part of the magic of Spring has something to do with feeling the warm sunshine after the Winter months of cold, and anticipating all the outdoor adventures that the Summer brings. The frogs chirp at night and the birds during the day, and if you wake up early enough you'll see hot air balloons drifting overhead. The hills are still green and the seeds in the garden are just sprouting.

We are truly lucky, and we only have to look around us to see why.

It's That Time Again

One of my favorite times of the whole year is Garden Planting Time. I love the days spent with my two favorite people in one of my favorite places at such a vibrant time of year. I'm especially motivated this year because I have been reading Animal, Vegetable, Miracle by Barbara Kingsolver. It is so inspiring.

I got another burst of inspiration after receiving an email about being featured on a blog. I went to read the write up and got sucked into this really great gardening blog. I ended up getting some good ideas to build some trellises. You can see the one above made out of branches left over from trimming the trees. A couple more down below in the tepee style.

A trip down to our local organic nursery. We picked up sun sugar cherry tomatoes because they are the closest we can get to lollipop plants (which is what Scarlett wanted), zucchini, green beans, cucumber, more tomatoes (lots), basil, thyme and cilantro.

It was a great way to spend the weekend. All of us working together. Creating something together. Something that will nurture and nourish our bodies and our hearts. My mouth is already watering at the thought of Caprese Sandwiches for dinner and salsa made from fresh tomatoes. Food grown with love always tastes the best.

I'd like to dance with you, if you'd like me to.

So, last Friday (so long ago!) Mama and Daddy snuck away and went to see Devendra Banhart play at the Mystic Theater in Petaluma.
If you know Devendra, you know what an awesome treat this was. If you don't, poke around the internet a bit and you'll soon learn. Most of my near and dear friends don't quite share the same degree of (ahem) enthusiasm that I have for the man and his mythical music. Which made the morning after kind of stifling for me, for there was no one to get super excited with me about all the details still swimming melodically around in my head.
But my husband, dear man, was with me all the way.
I still vividly remember when two good friends of ours introduced us to Devendra's first album. They actively argued about which songs should be played in which sequence to properly initiate us. I think they went with Pumpkin Seeds, then Michigan State and for days I couldn't stop singing Legless Love, Spider Love. (Still with me?)
This was about seven years and four or five albums ago, and we've all come a long way since then, but the love hasn't died.
As for the show, he absolutely rocked. I'm sorry I don't have a picture to share, but I was much too engrossed. He played Mama Wolf (my song) and everyone in the theater was howling by the end.
Nothing like letting go in a room full of people who've let go, too.
His music may not be for everyone, but Oh Me Oh My, it is for me.

Reasons I Love My Husband #1

He cooks with his pocket knife.

A Beaster Celebration

No, I did not misspell Easter. I'm talking about Beaster! A holiday made up by our dear friends that involves the friends-family. The friends you are so close to that essentially they are your family, just not blood related. Otherwise known as your tribe. This is my tribe. The ones who have helped raised my daughter, who have cried with me in times of sorrow, who have rescued me at 2 am in a blizzard, who encourage me at everything I do, who give me strength when I feel like I'm about to crumble, who jump at the opportunity to celebrate ANYTHING, and who have provided my daughter with siblings and multiple parents.

We spent the day enjoying good food, searching for arrowheads in the field, playing ladder golf (I've never heard of it either, but it's really fun) and catching up with each other.

The kids ran around climbing trees, riding down the hill on numerous cars and bikes and bailing out in the grass, searching for Easter eggs and then hiding them again for each other.

And it wouldn't be a true celebration without a jam session.

It was such a pleasant day. I came home filled with love and gratitude. I love and cherish these people. Happy Beaster Everyone!

Go hug someone you love.

proof in a pattern

A little while ago, a few of the ladies in my life approached me about teaching them to knit. Nothing formal, just me and seven friends and yarn and needles and a little bit of direction, but somehow or other I felt unworthy. Intimidated, even. Although I've been knitting for years I still feel like a beginner. A one-trick pony. I make hats. Not sweaters or vests or socks or ponchos or mittens, just hats. And the one hat that I'm really good at making is fairly simple, to be honest.

So I set myself on a personal mission to put a few more notches in my needles. I get a lot of joy out of knitting and I'd love to spread it around, after all. I picked out a couple patterns with some tricky stitchwork and cast on. One for Eden and one for Mazzy. I changed the sock pattern into a hat (baby steps), and they both turned out awesome. So now that I've graduated from beginner to, say, fourth grader, I think I'm ready to teach. As long as all they want to learn is hats.